6:30-7:30am

*Any random weeknday morning*

6:30am - Faith's phone alarm goes off. We both ignore it.

6:36am - Hall light turns on, light shuffling in the hallway begins.

6:38am - 1st Amanda/Ellie wakeup call. Response: "Okaaaahhughhhmkamephjffffjuh!"

6:42am - Faith sits up, stares into the darkness for a full minute, then heads to the bathroom to get ready.

6:45am - 2nd Amanda/Ellie wakeup call, met by muffled, disgruntled "I'm UP"-s. Except that they're not.

6:46am - Faith returns to the room to brush her hair, search in the darkness for her shoes and backpack, put on said shoes, then trip her way out the door.

6:47am - Faith returns for her forgotten backpack and/or belt.

6:49am - Liz decides that she can't go back to sleep and stumbles drunkenly to the bathroom to pee.

6:49:30sec - Someone bangs on the bathroom door because they need the bathroom RIGHT NOW. Jeezum.

6:50am - Faith heads downstairs for her morning spoon of peanut butter and 20 minutes of vacant staring at the TV as part of her mysterious "wake up" ritual. Disturb her at your own risk.

6:51am - Wake up call #3: "I AM up!" - from underneath the blankets.

6:53am - Ninja cat makes his morning appearance, opening the door with his ninja skills and leading Liz on a five-minute chase (in which she knocks over half the crap on the floor) to scare him back out of the room.

6:55am - Wake up call #4: "I've BEEN UP FOR 20 MINUTES GEEZ" - still from underneath the blankets.

6:56am - Random stomping and mysterious banging noises begin to happen. Liz, having just freed herself of Ninja Cat's morning attack, buries herself further underneath her blankets in a futile attempt to block out angsty teenage noise.

6:57am - First fight over the bathroom: "I was in there first, just because I LEFT FOR FIVE MINUTES does NOT give you the right to go in the bathroom and get your clothes!"*

6:58am - Angry door slams added into the mix of banging and stomping.

6:59am - Person 1 Yelling for random lost item, Person 2 reminding Person 1 of another item they may need, Person 2 yelling back that they have that item thankyouverymuch and Person 1 should worry about themselves, and Random Parent yelling at them to stop the yelling. Because some people are trying to sleep! (Some people, not me of course)

7:05am - Someone makes the mistake of talking to Faith (who comes only second to my mother in my family's coveted Most Disgruntled Morning Person award). We all pay dearly.

7:07am - *bang* *yell* *stomp* *bang*bang*bang* "WHERE'S MY CHAPEL SHIRT?!" *stomp*stomp* *louder yell* *bang* *doorslam*

7:08am - Ninja Cat and/or Goopy tries to re-enter the room, usually via bodyslam, giving a couple of dispirited yowls of frustration because I have cleverly locked them out.

7:09am - Second fight over the bathroom: "Mom, tell her not to stand so close to me! I can feel her breathing on me, it's disgusting!"

7:12am - Just when Liz is about to doze off, more banging and stomping ensues in what can only be part of a daily "Who can make the biggest dent in the wall with their backpack full of bricks" contest. Outside of monster truck racing in the kitchen, I really don't understand how four kids make that much noise. And I'm a teacher - I know from noisy kids. Or possibly I'm a little more sensitive to noise at seven in the morning.

7:14am - Liz sighs, briefly fantasizes about her own apartment, and turns the fan up to HIGH.

7:15am - The time they are supposed to leave.

7:18am - Walking like normal people Racing like newly branded cattle up and down the stairs for retrieving random items/yelling at sibling purposes.

7:20am - Shotgun calling and resulting argument/slamming doors.

7:21am - Garage door goes up. Dogs have a seizure.

7:23am - Someone loudly runs back into the house for a forgotten something, delaying the leave time some more. Hey, it's not like school starts on a schedule or something!

7:28am - What time they actually leave.

7:29am - Garage door goes down. Dogs have even louder seizure.

7:30am - (When no one else is home) Gizmo and Buddy appear outside my door, whining because their Momma left them. Boo freaking hoo. Sorry, 7:30am is too early for me to be sympathetic, especially since nothing I do (even letting them climb into my bed) appeases them. And how do they know I'm even in my room? Freaky.

This is why I have zero qualms about picking the kids up in the afternoon, since Aunt Celia, God bless her, has morning duty. The mornings, as you can tell, are a mess - and not the hot kind.

And to think - when I start working (which can be any day now, Houston County Schools) I'll get to take a more active participation in the fracas! My morning cheerfulness is sure to make the getting-out-the-door all the better for everyone (yeah, I can't even type that with a straight face) My plan is to be up and ready far before 6:45am, if at all possible. Or at least be done with the bathroom, because I'm not fighting middle schoolers for hair-straightening time. Mostly because I'll lose.


* = Note: All quotes were taken from real life.

Song/Video of the Moment - Diner by Martin Sexton. Set to Scrubs dancing montage. Because I love montages, Scrubs, and this song. I'm going to make a family video to this song one day.

Quote of the Moment - "Waddya doin...building a fort?" Faith, watching me dig piles of blankets out of my bed, which is sadly really is resembling a fort. I need place to put my crap, I can't help it! Yeah, I'm a 23 year old college grad, living in a fort. It's the dream! But hey, it's a free fort!

Text Message of the Moment (2:23am) - "Sorry it's late, but it's September and Mom has turned the fireplace on. I had to tell someone." - Nick

Picture of the Moment: