Thursday, January 29, 2009

O Happy Day!

Yes, it is a Happy Day. One every unemployed college grad dreams of - I was approved for a deferment for my student loans!

Besides being a huge relief, it comes on a night when I really needed a pick-me-up. God is good.

I promise a real update is coming soon, it's in draft form right now... lots to catch up on. And maybe a day-in-the-life-of-a-sub kind of thing. Exciting stuff, people!

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Happy Birthday To Me

For the big 2-4 I decided to take a trip back home to Chattanooga to hang out with my family. Doesn't sound that exciting to some I suppose, but I was thrilled. I'm a very blessed person in that while things aren't always perfect, my family has always been close and we get along well together - we have the same sense of humor, we make each other laugh, and genuinely enjoy each other's company. Not too many families can say that, I don' t think.

The trip up last Friday afternoon was rainy but uneventful - but I don't think I've ever been so excited to be home. I got home around 4 and my mother was still asleep - when she woke up, she was so happy to see me that she didn't even have her Disgruntled-Hour-of-Just-Woke Up-So-Don't-Talk-To-Me-Get-Me-A-Soda-Now-Angsty-ness. Trust me, that's love.

My actual birthday was three days later, that Monday, and I scored from the parents: two Cubs shirts, pajamas, some new books, Heroes DVDs (thanks Dad!), cash, some pretty green nail polish from Ellie, and gas money for my trip to TN from Aunt Celia and Billy (thanks again!). It was a wonderfully quiet day spent in my pajamas doing mostly nothing - we ordered Chinese, had sinfully delicious cheesecake, watched movies and, yes, snarked at TV shows. It's what we do best. Some families have "athletic talent" or "artistic ability" - my family makes hilarious sarcastic jokes at the television (probably more amusing to us than others, but still). It's a rare and under-appreciated gift.

My five days went by all-too-quickly, I already miss home again terribly. Four hours is so far! I definitely need to be on the other side of Atlanta, at least. That umbilical cord only stretches so far. And only a few months until school systems start hiring for the next year! A few...four or five...whatever.The trip back was really nice though, beautiful weather, little traffic, and a gorgeous sunset that followed me back to Warner Robins. It's finally starting to feel like Fall here!

There's not much else to update on - besides everyone failing my "how well do you know me" facebook quiz, there was a misguided 2 hours spent in the truck with Faith and Ellie, wandering around Central Georgia the other night, including a foray into the rather seeder parts of Macon, but that's another story for another blog entry. I'll just tell you that the phrases "Corn! Why is there corn?" and "Gas THIS" were said, and let your imagination chew on that for a while.

Let's see, what else. Today at church we had a guest speaker who was a white South African, you know, with a British accent, and everyone knows how British accents make me happy. In other news, trying to find substituting work is going paaaaaaaaaaaaaainfully slow, but it's a good lesson in patience if nothing else. Also, don't see the movie Quarantine (unless you're Nick, but I don't think he reads this, sooo) unless you really like shaky camera work and gory horror movies where every single character dies. It would probably be fine on TV but not on the big screen, as poor Aunt Celia can attest to.

So. . . is it Thanksgiving yet?

Phrase of the Moment: "YAT-TA!" - Because Heroes, and Hiro, are awesome. Yes, Rachel, Sylar is awesome too.

Quote of the Moment: "We're being split up, you know, plugs in one car and outlets in the other." - Aunt Celia. Ha!

Video of the Moment: - New Harry Potter 6 Trailer! Yes, I'm excited. Hush up with your "But it's still 8 months away".

Sunday, October 12, 2008

A day at the fair

So last Friday night Faith decides we need to go to the Georgia state fair. I love fairs, I think it's all the bright, flashing color lights - it suits my ADD or something.

We actually found the fair with little drama, mostly because of my getting lost in Perry previously, and we beat the evening crowd, also a plus. We first stopped by the horses and a strange number of farm-related displays for a non-Midwestern state to a very nice guy who conned us out of ten dollars and our confidence in our ability to throw a tennis ball into a plastic tub from five feet away. We also scored some cool sunglasses.

After wandering through the indoor displays we come out and Faith decides she wants to go on some rides - across the entire fair, probably a quarter mile. So, in a moment of insanity, we get the bright idea of taking the SkyGlide across the grounds instead. Sure, I'm completely and utterly terrified of heights but it's not like those things go especially fast or high (or so it looked from the ground).

Pushing my sense of foreboding aside, I gamely took my seat in the bench next to Faith. Five seconds later we're ten feet up in the air and I'm already white-knuckling it, one hand clutched to my purse like a security blanket, the other to the railing, telling Faith that this "really, really, really, really, really isn't a good idea". Then the total panic sets in as we rise to a good 20 feet above ground - I recite the Lord's Prayer in my head and stare resolutely at the purple bench ahead of me, willing myself to survive. Trying to pay attention to anything but how HIGH we are and how out in the the OPEN we are, and how there is a BREEZE rocking our seat. AND the rickety, creaky cable that separates us from CERTAIN DEATH.

Lemme tell you I can still recite every detail of that purple bench ahead of me and the guy sitting with his toddler aged daughter - his own KID - in a yellow bench ahead. The only thing I can imagine to make this scenario worse is also being responsible for a small child in your lap and worrying about THEM falling over as well. I tried to relax and enjoy the scenery but to no avail, mnostly I kept reminding myself that if I screamed hysterically for the fair workers to "GET ME OFF THIS RIDE RIGHT NOW" or passed out, that would probably be embarassing for Faith. You're welcome, Faith.

I think the worst part was that we were just sitting on a bench - if it had been enclosed I would have been okay (well, probably not) - but no, your legs just dangle down from the seat. DANGLE, people! In the air! TWENTY feet above ground. Plus I had to worry about keeping my slip on shoes, you know, on. Stress! Every few years I need an experience of total terror to remind me what a complete acrophobe I am. Thanks to Faith, I'm now good for the rest of my life.

So after the longest three minutes of my entire life, during which I could only muster one-word responses to Faith's observations (while being so tense and stressed that I could't even turn my head to look at her - if she had touched me I would have probably have screamed), we randomly run into some friend of hers from school and then come across a ride called the Super Himalaya, which I took a pass on but watched Faith ride. It wasn't high (or even off the ground) but looked nausea-enducing. I'm not much of a theme-park-ride kind of person, if you haven't noticed yet. But all-in-all, a good day at the fair -sans SkyGlide of course. It is made of EVIL. Taunting us chubby acrophobes with it's slow speed and 'safety railings'. AS IF.

Quote of the moment: "Did you know hot chocolate is hot?" - Amanda, who was thereafter banned from talking at the Sonic drive-thru.

Song of the moment: Oh No You Didn't! Didn't you? Oh no!

Monday, October 6, 2008

A moment of Epic FAIL

This afternoon at the WalMart parking lot:

Faith and I return from WalMart shopping to the parking lot and the truck where we had left Ellie and Amanda. We unload the bags into the truck bed, open the doors and climb in the truck. The radio is playing. I note that the airconditioning feels nice and cold.

I then begin to look for the truck key.

(...after a minute of watching me look...)

Faith: "Please tell me your not still looking for your keys."

Me: "I know, I'm so scatterbrained, I always lose them but it's just the one key..."

I continue digging through my purse and checking my pockets. Faith stares.

Faith: "Uhhhh....Liz?"

Me: "What?"

Faith starts to laugh. I look up from my frantic key search, envisioning myself having dropped it in someone else's cart or lost it somewhere in the bread-and-all-things-carbohydrate-isle.

Then I finally notice.

The key? It's in the ignition. It's been there for the half hour that I left Ellie and Amanda in the truck, it was there when I got IN the truck and even NOTICED that the air conditioning and radio were on full blast, and it was in there for the three full minutes that I sat and looked for it. In plain view from where I was sitting - in the driver's seat. It wasn't just that I was spacey enough not to notice the key was already in the ignition, but was all "OMG I know I lose my keys all the time" when Faith was trying to tell me where it was, while I sat and looked for another minute, still not getting it.

That to me is like, beyond a brain fart... it's what I like to call an Epic Fail.
More moments of FAIL

Friday, September 26, 2008

6:30-7:30am

*Any random weeknday morning*

6:30am - Faith's phone alarm goes off. We both ignore it.

6:36am - Hall light turns on, light shuffling in the hallway begins.

6:38am - 1st Amanda/Ellie wakeup call. Response: "Okaaaahhughhhmkamephjffffjuh!"

6:42am - Faith sits up, stares into the darkness for a full minute, then heads to the bathroom to get ready.

6:45am - 2nd Amanda/Ellie wakeup call, met by muffled, disgruntled "I'm UP"-s. Except that they're not.

6:46am - Faith returns to the room to brush her hair, search in the darkness for her shoes and backpack, put on said shoes, then trip her way out the door.

6:47am - Faith returns for her forgotten backpack and/or belt.

6:49am - Liz decides that she can't go back to sleep and stumbles drunkenly to the bathroom to pee.

6:49:30sec - Someone bangs on the bathroom door because they need the bathroom RIGHT NOW. Jeezum.

6:50am - Faith heads downstairs for her morning spoon of peanut butter and 20 minutes of vacant staring at the TV as part of her mysterious "wake up" ritual. Disturb her at your own risk.

6:51am - Wake up call #3: "I AM up!" - from underneath the blankets.

6:53am - Ninja cat makes his morning appearance, opening the door with his ninja skills and leading Liz on a five-minute chase (in which she knocks over half the crap on the floor) to scare him back out of the room.

6:55am - Wake up call #4: "I've BEEN UP FOR 20 MINUTES GEEZ" - still from underneath the blankets.

6:56am - Random stomping and mysterious banging noises begin to happen. Liz, having just freed herself of Ninja Cat's morning attack, buries herself further underneath her blankets in a futile attempt to block out angsty teenage noise.

6:57am - First fight over the bathroom: "I was in there first, just because I LEFT FOR FIVE MINUTES does NOT give you the right to go in the bathroom and get your clothes!"*

6:58am - Angry door slams added into the mix of banging and stomping.

6:59am - Person 1 Yelling for random lost item, Person 2 reminding Person 1 of another item they may need, Person 2 yelling back that they have that item thankyouverymuch and Person 1 should worry about themselves, and Random Parent yelling at them to stop the yelling. Because some people are trying to sleep! (Some people, not me of course)

7:05am - Someone makes the mistake of talking to Faith (who comes only second to my mother in my family's coveted Most Disgruntled Morning Person award). We all pay dearly.

7:07am - *bang* *yell* *stomp* *bang*bang*bang* "WHERE'S MY CHAPEL SHIRT?!" *stomp*stomp* *louder yell* *bang* *doorslam*

7:08am - Ninja Cat and/or Goopy tries to re-enter the room, usually via bodyslam, giving a couple of dispirited yowls of frustration because I have cleverly locked them out.

7:09am - Second fight over the bathroom: "Mom, tell her not to stand so close to me! I can feel her breathing on me, it's disgusting!"

7:12am - Just when Liz is about to doze off, more banging and stomping ensues in what can only be part of a daily "Who can make the biggest dent in the wall with their backpack full of bricks" contest. Outside of monster truck racing in the kitchen, I really don't understand how four kids make that much noise. And I'm a teacher - I know from noisy kids. Or possibly I'm a little more sensitive to noise at seven in the morning.

7:14am - Liz sighs, briefly fantasizes about her own apartment, and turns the fan up to HIGH.

7:15am - The time they are supposed to leave.

7:18am - Walking like normal people Racing like newly branded cattle up and down the stairs for retrieving random items/yelling at sibling purposes.

7:20am - Shotgun calling and resulting argument/slamming doors.

7:21am - Garage door goes up. Dogs have a seizure.

7:23am - Someone loudly runs back into the house for a forgotten something, delaying the leave time some more. Hey, it's not like school starts on a schedule or something!

7:28am - What time they actually leave.

7:29am - Garage door goes down. Dogs have even louder seizure.

7:30am - (When no one else is home) Gizmo and Buddy appear outside my door, whining because their Momma left them. Boo freaking hoo. Sorry, 7:30am is too early for me to be sympathetic, especially since nothing I do (even letting them climb into my bed) appeases them. And how do they know I'm even in my room? Freaky.

This is why I have zero qualms about picking the kids up in the afternoon, since Aunt Celia, God bless her, has morning duty. The mornings, as you can tell, are a mess - and not the hot kind.

And to think - when I start working (which can be any day now, Houston County Schools) I'll get to take a more active participation in the fracas! My morning cheerfulness is sure to make the getting-out-the-door all the better for everyone (yeah, I can't even type that with a straight face) My plan is to be up and ready far before 6:45am, if at all possible. Or at least be done with the bathroom, because I'm not fighting middle schoolers for hair-straightening time. Mostly because I'll lose.


* = Note: All quotes were taken from real life.

Song/Video of the Moment - Diner by Martin Sexton. Set to Scrubs dancing montage. Because I love montages, Scrubs, and this song. I'm going to make a family video to this song one day.

Quote of the Moment - "Waddya doin...building a fort?" Faith, watching me dig piles of blankets out of my bed, which is sadly really is resembling a fort. I need place to put my crap, I can't help it! Yeah, I'm a 23 year old college grad, living in a fort. It's the dream! But hey, it's a free fort!

Text Message of the Moment (2:23am) - "Sorry it's late, but it's September and Mom has turned the fireplace on. I had to tell someone." - Nick

Picture of the Moment:

Ooo look at Wrigley Field in all the pretty champagne!